OutSpin: Terms of Service

Thank you for reading this post. Since everyone became a legal expert this week, as soon as Google Drive was launched, I’ve decided to publish the Terms of Service for reading my posts (described from now on as ToS).

1. By reading this post you grant me the right to have an opinion.

2. By reading this post you agree that I am right and that my opinion is the only opinion that counts.

3. By reading this post you are obligated to make comments that are only positive and that agree with my point of view. In case you don’t agree with my point of view you can’t make any comments, in any platform being that digital, physical or telepathic. This means you can’t even think that you don’t agree with me.

4. Failure to comply with these ToS will result in immediate termination of your internet connection and the termination of any personal relationships you might have with anyone that lives on planet Earth.

5. If you don’t agree with these ToS please send a letter to P.O. Box 66642  – Ouagadougou – Burkina Faso. By sending a letter you agree that the letter will never be read and it will be destroyed in a weekly ceremony that will be broadcast live via Hangouts On Air.

6.  All claims arising out of or relating to these ToS will be litigated exclusively in the courts of Lomé – Togo*, and you and I consent to personal jurisdiction in those courts. You also agree that you pay for all expenses that might arise from any legal action you take against me, no matter what the court decides.

Sounds abusive? Yes, it is. Not only abusive but stupid, really stupid. BUT as stupid as all the posts I have read this week regarding Google Drive’s Terms of Service that explicitly say that you retain all the rights you might have on the uploaded material and you only grant a license to Google for Google to do with those documents/files what everyone considers to be “good features“.  Unfortunately most of the posts ignored that bit of the ToS. This kind of bashing, link baiting, PPC based blogging will only go away when we, the readers, stop reading those posts. I can even come up with a Terms of Service for that.

*I always wanted to go there and meet the king. Since you are paying for the expenses sounds like a good deal.