Dear [Non Android] Console Gaming Industry,
You and I have had a long run, and ever since I was four years old sporting my Nintendo 64, you have been there for me, but this is my letter saying good-bye. I hate to make you sad, but we have grown apart. I have, much to my own surprise as well as yours, found another, and her name is Android. Rather than get into our extensive history, I will get right into how we met, why I chose her and why I’m leaving you.
You see, when I had to separate from you (sell my Xbox 360) in 2009, it was hard, I had nights where I cried and wished I could rotate your rubberized analog sticks just one more time. Then, a year later, my granddad introduced me to this thing called Android when he gave me his Mytouch 3G Slide (he told me he couldn’t handle it). We instantly became friends.
Fast forward four years to 2013, you and I haven’t spoken directly in years, and Android was there for me, constantly expanding herself for me. Every so often, she would get some more RAM space, be able to take bigger memory cards, get a faster processor to handle more graphic intensive games, and, I hope I don’t offend you by saying this, but you put on a bit of weight over the years, Android has been able to fit in my pocket, you take up a forth of a TV stand shelf.
That isn’t to say that you haven’t made improvements as well. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you working on your curves and the sleekness of your body. I also noticed how you beefed yourself up with more RAM and better processors too. But, there are some things that separated the two of you.
First, you’re closed minded. Android has been open (sourced) from the start. To top it off, you are the biggest gold digger on the market right now. A new android phone off the shelf (Galaxy S4 for example) can be found for right under $600, which is a bit pricey, but she compensates by basically harnessing my life, sustaining her own internet connection (you’re so codependent on WiFi it almost made me jealous on occasions), making calls, texts, and having quality, cheap games and apps. I can’t process documents on you, and Grand Theft Auto III on you is almost $15, Android only wants $5.00, and she even puts them on sale occasionally to make it easier on me. The average Android game is about $6, the average game on you is about $50, and that’s after a game is about two months old, what the hell man?
And if that isn’t enough, Tegra 4 has been looking kind of sexy, and Snapdragon is getting right as well. I used to come to you because graphically, you surpassed them both, but that isn’t the case anymore. M.O.J.O., OUYA and even that funny looking Bluestacks Game system are swimming in your waters. You might have quantity, but they are inching closer and closer towards quality.
So in conclusion, the best I can see myself doing is dating one of your older sisters, but as for the PS4 and Xbox One, I wouldn’t give them a chance in hell. They are selfish and even more closed minded than you were before we split back in 2009. So, my phone and my OUYA or M.O.J.O will be replacing your spot on the TV stand. The best part? No game cases or scratch prone CDs. It was nice knowing you. If you want to win me over, evolve and stop being a money pit, or dissolve and suffer the consequences. With the path you’re on now, you might lose more than just me.
Sincerely,
Mingo Allen II
So what do you guys think about the gaming industry and her shenanigans? Talk to us in the comments below.
